How to Blend Holiday Traditions in a New Relationship – Adrienne Dwyer
November 22, 2023
Ask an Expert: Sheri Flaherty
December 19, 2023
Staying Present Together During the Holiday Season
The holiday season can seem like a whirlwind time to be in a relationship. Between the normal work/life balance, family get-togethers, ‘friendsgivings’, and trying to create traditions of your own while in a partnership…the weeks can go by quickly. That is why it is important to take time to be present and grounded, both in yourself and in your relationship.
12 Days of Mindfulness and Grounding Activities for the Holidays
Here are some tips for mindfulness and grounding activities to do by yourself or in a relationship during the holidays:
Day 1: Breathing
If you and your partner are finding yourselves having a particularly draining day, try the ‘4, 7, 8’ technique. Begin by holding hands, then inhale for the count of 4, hold for the count of 7, exhale for the count of 8. This can be a quick way to re-center.
Day 2: Self Reflection
If you and your partner are finding yourselves having a particularly busy day, try to take a moment to reflect on your emotions, as well as your needs. Remembering these things, and then communicating them, can lead to intimate moments between partners.
Day 3: Set Boundaries
If you and your partner are finding yourselves in conflict with either each other or extended families, remember that setting clear boundaries about wants and needs during the holiday season can be the best way to achieve the most satisfaction and mindfulness during this time.
Day 4: Go For a Walk
If you and your partner are finding yourselves stagnant, try changing the scenery with a walk.
Day 5: Volunteering Your Time
If you and your partner are needing a change of perspective, try volunteering at a local organization. There are many that are in need of extra hands during the holiday season, and this can be a great way to give back…together.
Day 6: Try Something New
If you and your partner are needing a change of pace, try looking into some local activities (holiday related or not!). A favorite of my own is a holiday light show.
Day 7: Attend a Spiritual Gathering
If you and your partner are in need of re-centering, try attending a spiritual gathering together. This could be a prayer group, congregation, yoga, and more.
Day 8: Get Creative
If you and your partner are feeling depleted, try being artistic together. Whether it be painting, drawing, or origami…art can be a great way of reconnecting.
Day 9: Traditions
If you and your partner are in need of remembering why the holidays are special to you, try carrying out one of your favorite childhood traditions together. My personal go-to is decorating holiday ornaments.
Day 10: Movement
If you and your partner are in need of some extra movement, try taking a work out class together. This can be a fun way to ground, and there are many options such as Zumba, pilates, hot yoga, and more.
Day 11: Physical Touch
If you and your partner are feeling disconnected physically, try slowing down and recentering by going back to basic touches such as rubbing each other’s back, or laying together, somehow intertwined.
Day 12: Plan
If you and your partner are feeling particularly lost in all the holiday chaos, try planning some kind of post-holiday activity to look forward to. It could be as simple as an advanced reservation at your favorite restaurant, or a weekend getaway in late January. Having events (especially events that breed connection) to look forward to is a piece of advice I give to couples (and to myself) all the time.
FAQ: Relationship Connection During the Holidays
Mindfulness helps couples slow down and stay emotionally present during a high-stress time. It can reduce reactivity, improve communication, and make it easier to reconnect when schedules, family expectations, and fatigue start piling up.
It can be simple: making eye contact, listening without multitasking, naming what you feel, or checking in about needs (“I’m feeling stretched thin—can we take 10 minutes to reset?”). Presence is less about doing something big and more about showing up intentionally.
Start as a team: agree on your limits privately, then communicate clearly and kindly. Use short, confident statements (e.g., “We’ll be leaving by 7,” or “We’re splitting holidays this year”). Boundaries are about protecting your relationship and wellbeing, not punishing anyone.
